Back to Diary…..”Dear Mother Divine”
(September 25 2015) Sometimes you feel anger or frustration but just doesn’t seem to be able to understand the reason…. as if all details have fallen away… raw undefined anger/frustration is present without there being an object, a person or a situation to direct it to, to discharge it to or to blame it on… It feels like the collection of old emotions of thousands and thousands of moments of this emotion stored in the same file folder, in which details have fallen away, is coming forward. Mind likes to find a reason, but uselessly dumping it on others is not useful… even harmful. What we are left with is to learn to be undisturbed, unaffected and uninvolved even when these waves of pure emotion come up. It is a sign of progress as it shows us that we are diving deeper into the storehouse of mind. Thus, no need to worry when it happens!
It also shows us the potency of raw emotion without an object. The shakti, the power, these emotions have can be tremendous. It is quit the experience to get in touch with this… As this power is not “bad”. It is the coloring of the power that is not useful; the anger and frustration are the result of unfulfilled desires. Which are the effects of the colorings of “me” and “mine” that ahamkara added to the sensory experiences of this Divine play.
Can you remember a moment in which this was felt. Yes? It means you have some direct experience! Namely, of the power of emotion standing alone without a specific object, situation or person. What if we could direct this power? What is we could “ride” this power to a useful destination? Do you remember the focus you had in being in this emotional state?… I remember that it can take over the whole mind-field, nothing else exists but this emotion… Sometimes even as a samadhi-like experience… Meaning, so easy to get lost and absorbed into it.
What if we can stay alert and conscious as these waves move through the mind-field? What if we could consciously evoke this power of emotion, but then in relation to love? I know Love is actually not an emotion. It is beyond all emotions. But can you remember a time when the love for something was experienced so deeply? For a person, such as a lover, a child or parent? Or for an object? Like your favorite teddy bear? I remember moments like this, it was love based on attachment, but ooh, what a strong feeling it was.
What if you were able to evoke this feeling of Love consciously in relation to this person or object? And what if you were then able to drop the object? Then you would also experience the power of this feeling standing on it own just like with the emotion as anger or frustration. Not needing a person, an object or situation. Can this not be done all the time? I mean… if this can be done once, it can be done constantly as this evoking doesn’t need an object, doesn’t need a person, doesn’t need a specific situation. These objects of love do not have to be present. We don’t have to created the perfect circumstance outside ourselves to evoke this feeling of love. It can be evoked all the time, in every here and now.
What if we then could aim this feeling? What if we could aim this power? What if we could direct it to the understanding, to the longing, to the awe that this Love without an object is our True Self, the origin of all emotions, all phenomena, and all movement. That this source, True Love itself, is at the core of our being and not a mere feeling that is created in the mind when ego gets its way when a desire is fulfilled.
Even if this doesn’t yet bring the cessation of all phenomena. Even if it doesn’t not yet bring Self-realization. It will direct us in the right direction and allows us to be drenched in formless Love to be best of our ability. It allows us to be in Love as much as mind is to be able hold it. Which eventually it cannot and will lovingly surrender itself in total understanding that all there is, is LOVE…. BEING LOVE…
This is formless bhakti… using the power of emotion to direct it to the formless… to pure being… to pure Love. This is the bhakti I have been longing for my whole life and gradually are able to evermore dwell in it, to swim in it, to loose “my”self in it….
Ooh Mother Divine, take this ego, hold it, embrace it and keep whispering to it that it is not me… I am You. It, ego, is an amazing instrument. Let it represent You, let it be Your instrument, so it can radiate Your Eternal Infinite Love and show the world of form that You, Formless Mother, are the lap of Love in which all forms ripple like waves of bliss and beauty.
I know that this feeling of awe can be experienced while doing karma… renouncing all the fruits and doer-ship of the actions… It is all You. Thus, karma yoga is not excluded. I know buddhi has been the wisdom through which viveka is increased to discriminate You, Divine Formless Mother, from the not-self. Thus, jnana yoga cannot be excluded. I know that without meditation the levels of Leela cannot be fathomed to be able to knock on the door of formlessness. Thus, raja yoga cannot be excluded. I know that all this play of energy is Your kundalini shakti. Thus, kundalini yoga cannot be excluded. Whichever name we give Your path, in which order we walk it, or how they all complement each other, I know that all paths will eventually lead to You.
This is when the heart sings as I hear the sages, like Swami Rama, tell us about the Samaya path. Another name for the formless and nameless path were “I am with you” is always remember, embraced, lived. Meaning You, Divine Mother, as formless is remembered in all that is, experienced in all that is, admired in all that is. Both in form and formless as there is only One. You are in me… this body is a shrine. The evolutes of Shakti are fathomed to dive deep into the waves of bliss to find that Shiva and Shakti are one and the same. As to ever more live, breathe, give, love in the constant awareness that You are indeed always with me. As I am You… You are me… nothing belong to me… Your beauty is here to be fully enjoyed, to be fully embraced and shared… Ooh what a wonder it is. It is all unreal in the sense that everything will always be changing. This “I” as little self will one day be gone, but the pervasive awareness that witnesses the little self will never die. When the conscious transition can be made fully between moments, between breaths, between bodies… it will be all seen as an ever-flowing, ever-changing spectacle of Divine play…. You formless Mother breathe the life-force, prana, into all Your shapes that are always one with You. You smile through all beings. Without being separate You serve yourself, You sacrifice to yourself, You love yourself. Love, life and relationships are Your wonder to play in duality while remembering the formlessness of Infinite Eternal Love… This is being FREEEEEEEEE….
So there is nothing “wrong” with experiencing the fullness of life through emotions, objects, situations, relationships… Let them be the inspiration that guide you into the depth of Shakti… to the formless place where Tripura is dancing in the the three cities, as the three cities, which are all One.
Back to Diary…..”Dear Mother Divine”
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Yoga Meditation, Contemplation, and Devotion for Self-realization
This site is an offering to those who deeply long to experience Pure Consciousness that is known as Divine Mother or Tripura (‘Tri’ means three, and ‘pura’ means city); She is the one that lives in the three cities of Waking, Dreaming and Deep Sleep. Temporary leaving behind the three cities and residing only in Pure Consciousness is called Self-realization. Another name for this realization is Yoga; the union of the individual self with the universal Self; the union of Atman with Brahman, or Shiva with Shakti; or the dis-union of Purusha and Prakriti. Some might think of Tripura as an anthropomorphic being but She is not, She is the Non-dual Reality in which all appearing manifestation seems to exist. All that is, is the Non-dual Reality.
On this site the teachings of Yoga, Vedanta, and Samaya Sri Vidya Tantra are offered to guide you in learning to meditate directly on Tripura by using modern ways of communication such as through animations, while preserving the ancient wisdom. These teaching have been given to us by an ancient lineage of meditation masters, lovingly called the Tradition of the Himalayan masters. These practices lead us to a space of stillness and silence where Yoga meditation, contemplation, mantra and prayer converge into deep devotion and constant awareness of Tripura. At the end of the journey when all efforts are exhausted, grace will dawn. This is known as shaktipata, through which the final barrier is removed, which is the piercing of the bindu, and leads to the direct experience of Non-dual Reality. This finally reveals an unimaginable Joy from knowing the Non-dual Reality or Pure Consciousness!
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